I can cope with, and handle most things that life throws at me with a head down and get on with it attitude....... Except blood sampling and Canulas!
Where does that fear come from? I have no idea!!
I had never had a Canula until I was induced with Madeline so isn't a childhood thing? Didnt even have blood taken that I remember?? So why the fea?!
I put it down to really sensitive veins, maybe I have a genetic malfunction meaning my veins are full of nerves and have the ability to ache and hurt!
If I could guarantee that the needle would go straight in with no digging around, and I could guarantee they wouldn't push the needle through my vein as they applied pressure with the cotton wool I might be able to cope better? The unpredictability kills me, will they hurt me will they not???
Over the years I've had loads of rubbish nurses digging in my arms and hands and I blame them for adding to my irrational fear!
Not only do I have to deal with the panic associated with the pre stab, the actual stab/dig, to top it off I'm left with a hole in my hand to look at for days/weeks :(
My last canula was 16 days ago and I can still see and feel 2 holes and a bruise and if I catch my hand it really bothers me. I currently have a huge scar from my operation..... Thats fine i can knock and catch that and it's fine but knock my hand and it makes me nauseous even now.
Ok that's my irrational phobia admitted to, the problem is I am now a haematology patient. This basically means that Everytime I go to hospital someone will pounce on me and pull me into the blood room and Sig in my veins. The thought makes my arms contract and physically ache and I can't even touch my ACF ( crease in arm where they typically take blood ) without feeling nauseous.
Luckily to the outside world I appear totally normal and stroll willingly into the blood room and smile nicely and make polite chit chat and the nurses would be non the wiser but as anyone who had to spend any time with me prior to that I'm a bit of a nightmare!
So while other more normal people out there are worrying about chemotherapy, radiotherapy, loss of hair, sickness, fatigue etc I'm just panicking someone is going to spring a blood test or a canula on me!
Unfortunately for me I need bloods thw day before chemo, canula for chemo, canula for 48 hours of fluids after my 1st chemo, canula for my scans and if I get a temperature at any time I go straight into hospital for Iv antibiotics and a canula. so I have all of those to mentally process and I know they will spring so many more at me!
I can have the cheats way out and get a tunnelled jugular central line put in ( only after 2 blood tests, 2 canulas, 1 chemo cycle done. This is because my lymph nodes in neck are blocking the way for now! ) and I am currently weighting up this possibility!
This morning I was a big brave girl and thought " no it's only a few needles " but after being in Christies for 4 hours today thinking every person that came within a metre of me was going to tell me I needed blood taken, maybe a line would be a good idea!
So there we are guys you now know I'm not super human I am a wimp really!!! Xxxxxxx
I really feel for you...I was stage 3 earlier this year, and after an op I got an infection and went into sceptic shock. I was rushed to A&E and the worst thing wasn't almost dying, it was having 18 needles in two days from cannulas, venous bloods, arterial bloods, failed cannulas, " need to put a bigger cannula in". I have thick skin apparently so it hurts like hell each time. I got to the point of thinking I'd rather have a tumour than a cannula! Hope 2013 means less needles for you :-)
ReplyDeleteI too hate cannulas I don't know why I just can't stand them. When I had Samuel I had to have a caesarean because he was breech and also being diabetic slightly complicated matters I had a cannula in each hand and one in each arm for all the different drugs they were giving me. Was I worried about them cutting my stomach open to get my baby out no! Just get these bloody cannulas out of me!
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