I thought it may be really hard but actually I happily went round buying over sized earrings, head bands, jackets and tops I wouldn't usually wear and I guess embraced he fact that I'm now 'changed' and 'different'. It didnt seem to matter that the normal me wouldn't ever wear these sorts of things?
Feeling super drained I only managed 1.5 shops and grabbed and ran, but was amazed when I got home and tried on all my new clothes and they all fit! Now that never happens!!!
I briefly tried to find clothes that would hide my scar but then the hem just rubbed on it or i had to raid the granny area! I guess people are just going to have to look at it as I'm not wearing turtle necks to avoid other people's discomfort! I don't really care, even in its red lumpy not quite healed state it's hardly going to give small children nightmares??
So now I have drawers filled with bright coloured scarfs, an array of earrings in all sizes and shapes and even 2 new wigs so I can really mix myself up! Quite liberating really and not only can I slap my 'face' on I can slap on all sorts of things to make myself ready to face the world with a smile and a new found confidence ( or at least that's the plan ).
I have never been one for drawing attention to myself before and my hair is usually scraped back, I forget my make up and try and sneak through the day hoping no one notices me! Not now!
Tomorrow is my hair chop stage one! Slightly nervous as there is no going back but I am going to do this at my speed. Not at a speed dictated to me by doctors and drugs as to when my cells die and hair begins to fall out, I will not be picking clumps of hair off my pillow I will be buzzing all my hair off long before that day!!
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